Rekindling Love in Your Relationship: A Conversation with Diana Richardson

Some conversations stay with you.

Originally recorded in 2018 as part of my six-month Womantime Immersion, this conversation with Diana Richardson is one of those.

In this interview, we have a rich and very personal conversation about love, sexuality, relationships and what can happen when we begin to bring more awareness into our intimate lives.

Diana Richardson is the author of numerous books on sexuality and relationships and the creator, together with her husband Michael, of the Making Love Retreat. Diana and I also co-authored Tantric Sex and Menopause, exploring sexuality and intimacy through the changing landscape of a woman’s life.

What makes this conversation resonate even today is how deeply Diana’s work influenced my own life, while Diana reflects on how her own exploration of sexuality began and eventually developed into the body of work she teaches today.

In this conversation, we explore three powerful themes:

1. Moving from performance to presence

Diana speaks about the conditioning we receive around sex, the ideas about how sex should happen, what it should look like and the expectation of orgasm as the goal. Instead, she invites us towards awareness.

As she puts it, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it.”

We explore what happens when we slow down, become more connected to the body and allow intimacy to become an exploration rather than something we have to perform or get right.

2. How our relationship with ourselves affects our intimate relationships

Diana and I talk openly about the ways women can lose themselves in relationship by looking outside themselves for validation, approval or a sense of being desirable.

Diana offers a different possibility: learning to feel whole within ourselves, whether we are single or partnered.

For me, this connects deeply with the heart of my Womantime work. Coming back to the body, finding our own ground and reconnecting with the woman underneath all the roles and expectations.

3. The connection between sexuality, emotions and healing

The conversation also explores something that is often missing from discussions about sex - our emotional lives.

Diana speaks about the unexpressed feelings that can enter our intimate relationships and create disconnection, blame and separation. She describes two parallel threads of change; developing a different way of making love while also becoming more conscious of our feelings and emotions.

We also explore the possibility of sexuality becoming a place of healing, rather than another place where we carry pressure, expectation and old patterns.

Coming back to the body

Towards the end of the interview, Diana brings everything back to something very simple: the body.

She speaks about developing an inner connection with the body, becoming more present and learning to rest inside ourselves rather than continually reaching outside ourselves for answers.

And perhaps this is what makes this conversation as relevant today as it was when it was first recorded.

Because intimacy isn't really about learning another technique.

It is about coming home to the body.

Coming home to ourselves.

And from there, discovering what becomes possible when we meet another person from a place of presence rather than performance.

Want to know more about how you can rekindle your relationship?

If this conversation speaks to something you are longing to explore more deeply, you can read more about Womantime Retreat, my work for women centred around reconnecting with the body, feminine presence and a deeper relationship with yourself.

For couples wanting to explore this approach together, you can learn more about The Making Love Retreat, my six-day retreat for couples based on the work of Diana and Michael Richardson.

And if you're not sure which path is right for you, book a free call with me. Sometimes a conversation is the best place to begin.